Marv, Marv, Marv, Marv, Marv...Marv...Marv..."Marv, this is God...what the HELL were you thinking?" How do you let that thing go to trial? Huh? Forget about the back biting, that's the least of it. How do you go to trial when you know they're going to break out the fifteen year transvestite affair, did you hear about that? The affair that he had with the transvestite for fifteen years, and the transvestite was described as looking like Lawrence Taylor in a wig? And him and Marv used to hang out at the Royale Hotel and sing show tunes...Marv's in his underwear, that guy's in a dress? Picture that..."Gimme the ball...gimme the ball, gimme the ball..." Oh my God...Wow...And then the woman who said that she went in to fix the fax machine at the hotel, and Marv was in underwear and a garter belt at the door? And she still went in? Y'know what -- that's pretty much the international sign for "Run Away", when you see Marv Albert in the women's underwear, in a garter belt, toupee askew...Aaaaaaaaaaaahhh! She walks right past him..."Is there something wrong with the fax machine? Is that Victoria's Secret, that's very nice...Lawrence Taylor? I'm a huge Giants fan, I love you! There's nothing wrong with this fax mach...AAAAH! Leave me alone!"

Oh my God...and the wildest thing about this whole trial to me amongst all the weird facts, did you notice that Marv actually gave his toupee a haircut to show up in court? Did you notice that? He trimmed up the toupee! As if that was going to make him look more innocent...Yesss! YESSS!! If the toupee fits, you must acquit! YESSS!!!

Then they had a dominatrix on Hard Copy who said for like eleven years, Marv has been coming over and he used a fake name. You know what the fake name he used was? STEVE Albert. His brother! That's how bright Marv is..."Yeah, I'm Steve Albert...yeah..." Jesus, Herb Alpert would have been better..."I'm Herb Alpert, that's my brass section...the Tijuana guys...that's Lawrence Taylor, just give him the ball, he'll be happy...DON'T touch the hair!" Wooooow...