The UNOFFICIAL Denis Leary Web HQ
The FIRST website devoted to the comedy and acting of Denis Leary.
1. Fuck This
2. Asshole of the Dance
3. Marv Marv Marv
4. Save This
5. Deaf Mute Cocktail Party
6. Coffee
7. Beer
8. Fuck Santa
9. Elvis and I
10. I'm Happy
11. Fuck the Kennedys
12. President Leary
13. A Reading from the Book of Apple
14. Love Barge
15. Fat Fucks
16. Insane Cowboy (in Africa)
17. My Kids
18. Life's Gonna Suck
19. Fuck The Pope
20. Lock 'n Load

A Reading from the Book of Apple
Spoken by Jeneane Garofalo

Man, man, I didn't prepare a speech and I'm sorry, but I'm glad that I didn't. Because I'm not going to do this like everybody else does it. 'Cause everybody that I should be thanking, I'm really sorry but I have to use this time. See, Maya Angelou said that we...we as human beings at our best can only create...opportunities, and I'm going to use this opportunity the way that I want to use it. So what I want to say is...um...everybody out there that's watching, everybody that's watching this world...this world is bullshit, and you shouldn't model your life...wait a sec...you shouldn't model your life about what you think we think is cool, even though I have an eating disorder and I have somehow sold out to the patriarchy in this culture that says that lean is better. Even though I have done that and I have done a video wherein I wear underwear, so that you young girls can covet and feel bad about what you have and how thin you're not. The point is I have done it, I am lean. That's why I did succeed sooner than maybe other musicians that maybe were better songwriters, I don't know, better lyricists, better vocals, I can't say that. But I do know this. This world is bullshi...did I say that this world is bullshit, 'cause it is. And my boyfriend can make you disappear. He can pull something out of your ear and say things like, "We have not met before, have we?" Go with yourself.